lace your boots!

We're going on an adventure. I want to delve into the realm of non participation with the global economy.
I'll try to learn about permaculture, squats, local currency, locally grown foods and free music and free food and free conversation and free friendship. I'll need a blog to give me a place to report. I'll need an audience to listen, care, advise, answer, argue etc.

Join me, it'll be fun.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Them's the brakes Kid!

So my brake pads are almost worn down to nuffin, I find out on thursday night, as I'm coming over the williamsburg bridge and grindin' and squeakin' all over the place. I'm in new york, trying to save money for future emergency, and need to replace them. so the next day I find some internet, I find some kawasaki dealerships and head on down. first one doesn't have the pads, second one does, 43 dollars, tax included. I take the pads outside and look down at the caliper. it's the front brakes, single disc, not too complex right? well the damn bolts won't turn, one is almost completely rounded off and the other is not in much better shape. the wrench that came with the bike, under the seat in the secret tool kit, is not gonna turn them so I spray it with wd40 and go bother my brother.
Colin, my brother, he's got a torch, so after I buy a lighter to spark the propane torch, $1.25, and a pair of vise grips, 11 dollars, I start heating up the caliper and fork housing that these particular offending bolts are stuck in. one bolt comes out with circular wrench my brother has, but the smooth one just sits there. after I set some rubber on fire, I give up on heat and go sit by the pier, read some jack kerouak and watch a would be wedding get all humbled by a hurricane, under the brooklyn bridge on the promenade that looks so lovely, by the east river that smells so foul.
So I can't crack this freakin' bolt! so I go to an art opening, see some good friends and good art, and the hurricane turns ragged and stubborn so there are plenty of soggy folks to enjoy the good art and stale beer. After the opening I don't feel like riding my bike around with questionable brakes, and so I hop in sam's car and we go get some chicken up in greenpoint. oh man, it was amazing. there was four of us, we ate two whole chickens, two orders of arroz y frijoles, two orders sweet plantains, one order of that battered squid stuff, and extra green avocado sauce which was amazing. all this food we actually finished, I did my part, half a chick, most of a plate of beans and rice, half a plate o plantains and plenty of that squid stuff. and the whole thing cost 50 some odd bucks? who knew you could eat so good for so little? so anyway we were really full, and me and colin were just a waiting for our bus when along comes the greenpoint lads, in fine form and fresh from a jam session, well we had to have a pint and we slurped it most greedily, but after all that salty food, I was almost too full to finish my beer, and almost passed out from dehydration on the bus ride home.
so next day was crepes at Matts house, then out to the bike. colin's brakes on his bike didn't work either, so we kept our eyes out for any bicycles left in dumpsters, or abandoned and mostly stripped on sign posts. we went to home depot, bought two replacement bolts, $1.65 a piece, and ended up in DUMBO around 2:30. I had borrowed matt's sockets that morning, and a hack saw from either James or Ian, I'm not sure who's it was, so first I tried pounding on a socket just a little bit smaller than the bolt, hoping it would make a bite and I could turn the sucker out. this almost worked, but not quite. next Colin sawed a slot into the bolt with the hack saw, with the intent to turn it with a screw driver. this resulted in two bent screw drivers and one broken one, sorry colin.
We couldn't fit anything stronger than a screwdriver into the slot, so I slipped the other bolt back in and headed back to home depot, promising to meet colin for the basketball game at matt's house later. now here's where it gets funny, I bought the biggest, meanest looking screw driver I could find at home depot, 7 or 8 bucks worth, looked like a weapon, and took it out there, clamped a vise grips down on it and give a hobo half a chance but that big mean screw driver's tip broke clean in two. well there I sat, despondent and wondering what to do, when along comes a middle aged fella with whiskey on his breath who tells me to take the tool back, get my money back. at first I am incredulous, "money back? after I broke the tool doing something it was not intended for?" but the man said "you got the receipt?" and urged me on, saying he'd watch my bike for me, and only ask for a few dollars when I returned.
Oh what magic is that word receipt, what joy! I started walking back to the store with my broken beast of a screwdriver, and as if by some magic of the store a man appeared, lounging on a cart by the large shipping entrance to the Home Depot. this man asked what the problem was, and my helpful and smelly friend of a moment ago said the screwdriver was bad material, and the magical man on the cart led me back to my bike. I explained my situation, all the attempts leading up to the twisted, mangled, slotted bolt he saw before him. this man's name was michael, an electrician, he led me to his truck and said he had a solution. some sockets have hexagons that they grip the bolt with, some have much finer toothing, and if he could find a sixteen sided socket he'd be able to pound it on and free my bolt. I was thankful, he led the way back to the store.
first to the return counter, I gave them my broken beast and they gave me my money, no questions asked. next to the tool aisle, and michael has made a great discovery. a tool that was built for removing rounded off bolts, with curving sides to get tighter as you turn them. I make for the check out counter, the store is closing and there is an intense excitement in the air, the staff are going home! the customers are going to build something!
I purchase the tool, 20 dollars, but michael says I can just return it tomorrow. we make it to the bike, I fit it on, take out matt's socket set and michael gives it a bang and a twist. there is an audible *crack* as the bolt loosens, an instant of pure joy passes between me and michael, we exchange smiles and names, I give him my heartfelt thanks and suddenly I realize he was looking to earn money. I haven't got any, the store is closed so I cannot get the money for the tool at the return counter. The sad look between us is one of understanding, me unable to repay him for the kindness that anyone could show anyone, if they had the time to, and he unable to earn his daily bread with his honesty and cleverness. we say good bye, I go to greenpoint to work on my bike and watch basketball.
next day I return to home depot, Michael is not sitting outside so I hope he has a job today, he is an electrician, I don't think I mentioned that. I buy a wire brush and a clamp, use the wire brush to clean up the brake cylinder, and the clamp to hold it back while I slip in the new brake pads. I then return both of these tools, having no foreseeable use for either of them. I have spent a total of 57.55 on parts, and about three days on labor, no more than a few hours any of those days. I probably saved about 30 or 40 dollars by not taking it to a mechanic, but I learned a valuable lesson. I don't need alot of tools with me, when traveling, as long as there are home depots in every county in the country. I also don't have to spend money on tools. I am of two minds on this. for one thing, I am cutting out the small hardware store from my valuable business by solely using and abusing home depot. for another thing, home depot isn't exactly coming out ahead on the deal either. should I feel guilty about this? maybe I should just start making tools, flint knapping and all that. I'd like any opinions anyone has to offer.

Anyway, Thank you!

5 comments:

Jeremy Trombley said...

Yeah, goddammit! you could have flintkapped yourself the mother of all fucking screwdrivers/bolt cutters/wrenches/whatevers and had that thing out in a minute. What's that? Got no flint in New York City? Well then find yerself a toilet .
Seriously, though, good work.

hagcin said...

great post,great lessons, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

how's the trip going? no word from you is either concerning or you've blogged out of online boredom. hope you'll be warm this winter.

Anonymous said...

i meant to coin a term "blogged out" from boredom. didn't read write. right?

Michael- said...

where did you go?